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Doctor Jargon

What He Says! What He Means!
This should be taken care of right away. “I’d planned a trip to Hawii next month but this is so easy and profitable that I want to fix it before the trip itself”.
Welllllll, what have we here… Since he hasn’t the foggiest notion of what it is, the Doctor is hoping you will give him a clue.
“We’ll see” “First I have to check my malpractice insurance”.
“Let me check your medical history”. “I want to see if you have paid your last bill before spending any more time with you”.
“Why don’t we make another appointment later in the week”. “I’m playing golf this afternoon” or “I need the money, so I’m charging you for another office visit”.
“We have some good news and some bad news”. The good news is he’s going to buy that new BMW, and the bad news is you’re going to pay for it
“I’d like to prescribe a new drug”. “I’m writing a paper and would like to use you for a guinea”.
“If it doesn’t clear up in a week, give me a call”. “I don’t know what the hell it is. May be it will go away by itself”.
“That’s quite a nasty looking wound”. “I think I’m going to throw up”.
“This should fix you up”. “The drug salesman guaranteed that it kills all symptoms”
“There is a lot of that going around”. “My God, that’s the third one this week. I’d better learn something about this”.


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