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Home > Family Health & Lifestyle > Teens Health > Mind Altering Drugs> Resisting peer pressure

Mind Altering Drugs

Resisting harmful peer group pressure

Preparation for correct decisions

Every single human being feels the need to belong to a group and in the child this craving is particularly acute.  It is put under severe test when the  child is under harmful pressure from its peers to take psychotic drugs, drink, smoke and experiment with sex.  There are also various other ways in which this pressure may be applied, such as indulging in destructive mischief, shop lifting or cheating in school or college examinations.  It is part of the child's growing up process to meet these tests, but it is the responsibility of parents to prepare the child to recognize, understand, and deal with harmful peer group pressures.

Parents should never underestimate the force of peer group pressure but should remember that even in their own cases they are concerned with the opinions of their social circles and are reluctant to be left out by acting against their peer group pressures.  Besides, the child has not their experience in dealing with this type of a problem and merely saying 'Don't ' is not a helpful attitude.

The first step is to teach the child to recognize peer group pressures. You may do this by adopting this approach;

"I know there will be times when your friends will want you do something you know is wrong, and you will find it hard to say "No" because you don't want to be the only one left out, or you don't want to appear a 'goody-goody'.  Maybe you will be afraid that if you say "No' they won't accept you or be your friends any more.  Or may be you will think they will tease you and spread rumors about you in the school.  This is called peer group pressure and most kids are subjected to it sometime or another.  You can also feel the pressure when you are the only one who wants to do something, but you feel silly doing it because no one else wants to.  We adults also experience peer group pressure and it is something we all have to learn to cope with".

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FAQs

The next step is to win the child's confidence  by getting him or her to discuss situations where peer group pressure was applied.  Explaining instances of your own case of peer group pressure will show the child that the problem is not unique to him or her, and is part of continuous character formation.  It will also convince the child that your attitude is helpful and not censorious.

It is very important that the child is given complete information on the harmful consequences of what peer groups will induce him or her to do BEFORE the exposure to the pressure occurs.  The kind of facts to be known are : the dangerous effects of psychotic drugs, the legal penalties attached to their use, the danger of mixing drugs and alcohol, how judgment and coordination can be impaired by drinking alcohol, and using drugs, the ease with which drugs and alcohol break down barriers of restraint and lead to free indulgence in sex, how sexual excitement can escalate and become difficult to control, the possibilities of contracting sexual diseases including AIDS, and of the female becoming pregnant.  In fact, the more you talk with your child, and give him or her complete information and anticipate the many situations and feelings that may be involved, the less is the child likely to be pressurized into unhealthy or dangerous decisions.

Taking decisions

So far the child has merely been mentally prepared for a situation in which he or she may be subjected to harmful peer group pressures,  and thereby much will have been achieved.  But the most important part is to train the child to take the right decision and stick to it even in the face of ridicule.

Through long practice adults take most decisions easily and erroneously tend to assume that making decisions is as simple for the child.  To help the child to deal more effectively with harmful peer group pressure, he or she should be taught the decision making process in three stages for such situations.  These are firstly, in dealing with harmful peer group pressure, the child has a choice; secondly, the child should know what the choices are, and thirdly, the consequences of these choices.

With regard to the first requirement, the child must be taught that he or she has the right to say 'No' or 'Yes' to peer group pressures.  This may seem obvious but many children have never been taught that they have the right to choose.  They need to learn that while it is fair for friends to offer advice, it is not right for those friends to expect the advice to be followed.  Not even the best friends have the right to make decisions for each others needs to be taught and reinforced.

In helping the child to know what the choices are, he or she should first be made fully aware of the consequences of complying with harmful peer group pressures.  The most effective way to do this is to discuss with him or her live cases of other children, especially those who are known, and more especially members of the peer group whom themselves went wrong because they succumbed to harmful peer group pressures (drop in their grades, loss of health etc.).  We also recommend the book 'I was a Drug Addict' for the child's reading.

It is very important to stress that in an experiment with some drugs, there is not second chance.  The first trial can get the person hooked.

The child must be particularly warned that when peer groups apply harmful pressure they tend to 'glamorize' the act as an inducement.  Thus, smoking cigarettes is made to appear more manly, smoking hash, more adventurous, and indulging in smack, more thrilling and exciting.  You must strip off all its true sordidness.

The child is now in a position to make his or her choice, but it is hard to say 'No' to friends.  He or she can be helped if taught specific ways of refusing to go along with the group by giving exact phrases and responses which can be used in situations which can be anticipated.

Some of these phrases are :-

1. "No"

2. "No, thanks! If you want to, go ahead, I don't want to".

3. "I don't think we should be doing this ".

4. "It really upsets me when you try to pressurize me that way.  If you are truly my friend, you'll leave me alone and still be my friend, no matter what I choose to do."

5. "Please take me home right now ".

6. "Please don't touch me like that.  Don't touch me there".

7. "That makes me very uncomfortable.  Please stop".

You have to realize that is very hard for your child to use any of these phrases to a friend, especially if the child wants the friendship badly.  But try and anticipate all the different situations in which harmful peer group pressures can be applied, discuss them with your child, and teach him or her the responses.  The effect of this dialogue will itself eliminate one of the reasons why children take to psychotic drugs -- lack of parental interest in them.

The child has a number of options as to what action he or she should take in a situation of harmful peer pressure.  In general terms, some of these are :

1. Tell the friends that what they are doing is not a good idea, will get everyone into trouble, or is mean, dangerous or frightening.

2. Walk away from the situation.

3. Stay, but not give in to pressure.

4. Tell someone or call for help.

Each of these course should be discussed with the child related to as many specific situations as can be thought of.

And finally, the child should be reminded that succumbing to harmful peer group pressures will leave him or her troubled with the loss of self-respect which is the least of the serious consequences that can occur.  On the other hand his resistance will give him the warm feeling of the 'inner glow' of having overcome a difficult situation successfully.