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For couples of any age, sexual dysfunction–the inability of both partners to fully enjoy sexual intercourse–can be an obstacle not only to having children but also to maintaining a positive and loving relationship. Problems of this kind are common, affecting more than half of all couples at some time, according to some studies. While sexual dysfunction rarely threatens physical health, it can take a heavy psychological toll, bringing on depression, anxiety, and debilitating feelings of inadequacy. Problems may be difficult to resolve without expert help, especially because misinformation is one of the leading causes of sexual dysfunction. One example of misinformation is that impotence is an unavoidable consequence of aging. In reality, healthy men can enjoy sexual intimacy well into their senior years. Achieving an erection may take 5 to 15 minutes of genital stimulation, however.

Another erroneous belief is that women have no interest in sex after a hysterectomy. Although there may be a decrease in vaginal lubrication if the ovaries are removed along with the uterus, libido (the sex drive) remains intact–and, because any worries about pregnancy are gone, it may even increase.

As people live longer and attitudes change, more older couples desire to prolong the years of healthy sexuality. Sex in old age was at one time thought to be inappropriate and even immoral, now, both physical and emotional intimacy are seen as important to well–being throughout life. Although sexual desire and the frequency of intercourse decline with age, sexual enjoyment and satisfaction do not. For couples in good health, sexual activity, which includes touching and caressing, may continue into the eighties and even nineties. Sexual dysfunction takes different forms in men and women.

Sexual Headaches
For years, partners have used headache as an excuse to avoid lovemaking. But for some people, lovemaking causes the headache! Forty–year old Shankar was making love to his wife when the pain exploded in his head. “I felt as if someone had plunged an ice pick into the back of my skull”, he reported to his doctor later. The pain lingered for about an hour, with no other symptoms, so Shankar dismissed the episode as a fluke.

Headache Headache
When the pain returned a few days later, once again as Shankar was approaching orgasm, he could no longer ignore it. Was he about to die from a brain hemorrhage or aneurysm? Was his sex life in danger of dying, too? The pain he’d experienced, though short–lived, was enough to make Shankar fearful of making love again.

Though reluctant to discuss his sex life with his doctor, Shankar made an appointment and described his symptoms. To his relief, the doctor was able to rule out a hemorrhage or other life–threatening conditions. He diagnosed Shankar’s pain as benign sexual headache, a lesser–known type of headache triggered by orgasm.


Benign Sexual Headaches – What are they ?
People suffering from benign sexual headache–also known as benign coital headache or orgasmic headache – describe sudden, intense pain near or at the moment of orgasm. The pain remains intense for five to fifteen minutes, though some people report pain lasting as long as two days. Pain can occur with intercourse or masturbation, and may happen infrequently, or every time a person approaches orgasm. Men and women of all ages have reported suffering from these peculiar headaches, but people over the age of 40 are more prone to it. When the first headache strikes, the sufferer stops copulating or masturbating and rests quietly in agony. Most are worried that they might have something seriously wrong in their heads, and many seek medical advice soon afterwards.

Doctors have identified three types of benign sexual headaches:
Dull
Headache Headache The dull type of headache starts as a dull ache that intensifies with increased sexual excitement and gradually subsides once sexual activity ceases. People with this type of headache may not even make the connection between their pain and sex, and are less likely to seek medical help.
Explosive
The explosive type of benign sexual headache is characterized by sudden, intense pain just before or at the moment of orgasm. This is the type most often seen by doctors.
Postural
This rarer type is called postural headache. Like explosive sexual headaches, postural headaches begin with intense pain at orgasm. The pain then subsides, but reoccurs when the patient stands up.

What is the cause ?
Doctors haven’t determined the exact cause of benign sexual headaches, though they are classified with other headaches brought on by exertion. Because migraine sufferers are more prone to sexual headaches, some doctors believe sexual headaches may be related to vascular changes brought on by physical activity, such as exercise and sex. Other researchers believe stress and fatigue may contribute to or trigger the onset of benign sexual headache. While you are experiencing benign sexual headache, there is little you can do to ease the pain.

However abstaining from sex for some time may help .Once your doctor has diagnosed benign sexual headache, he may prescribe a period of inactivity. Abstaining from sex for a period of two or three weeks often eliminates a patient’s predisposition toward recurrence of benign sexual headaches. Some people find that taking anti–inflammatory drug such as ibuprofen, prior to sexual activity can prevent benign sexual headaches. If abstention or ibuprofen doesn’t work, your physician may prescribe a short course of propranolol (Inderal).

Though painful and sometimes frightening, benign sexual headache doesn’t mean an end to a satisfying sex life. Understanding and proper treatment usually lead to a permanent cure.

Too much sex: is there such a thing?
Is there something as having too much sex? This question is often posed to most counselors and sex therapists, and their answer always is that as long as you are comfortable physically and your partner is comfortable you can have as much sex as you want. However there are some physical limitations to this fact also. Men can’t be aroused for a while after they ejaculate, and some women get a stomachache after a lot of sex.

Too much sex’ happens when there’s a discrepancy in sexual desire; if one partner is simply wanting more than the other. Another type of ’too much sex’ is the kind of sex they may be having. Putting aside clinical problems of sexual addiction or sexual compulsiveness, the optimal frequency of sex is defined by each couple, not by sex therapists or the media. Problems can arise if there is poor communication. For example, if a man wakes up ready for sex but his partner isn’t a “Morning person”, sex can become a source of tension and a turn–off at any time of day. Or one partner may be unsatisfied with sex because she needs more caressing and foreplay. In these cases, people must communicate their needs, or sexual encounters can become dreadful.

There is no such defined statement of the phrase “Too much sex”. What’s good for society is good for couples too. Although the whole focus should be on compatibility, that is what is not talked about at all. The media just harps on about inconsequential subjects and conveniently leaves out matters which need addressing. Thus the bottom line being that if your sexual relationship is healthy (for you), if you’re emotionally tuned into each other and if your hearts are as much in it as your bodies, then there is nothing as too much or too little sex for you. You are in perfect balance.