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Layman’s Medical Glossary

Antibody Against everyone
Artery The study of the paintings.
Bacteria Back door to a cafeteria.
Caesarean section A district in Rome.
Cardiology Advance study of poker playing.
Cat scan Searching for lost kitty.
Chronic Neck of a crow.
Coma Punctuation mark.
Cortisone Area around local court.
Cyst Short for sister.
Diagnosis Person with slanted nose.
Dilate The late British Princess Diana.
Dislocation In this place.
Duodenum Couple in blue jeans.
Enema Not a friend.
Genes Blue denim.
Hernia She is close by.
Impotent Distinguished/ well known.
Labour pain Hurt at work.
Lactose People without toes.
Lymph Walk unsteadily.
Microbes Small dressing gown.
Obesity City of Obe.
Pacemaker Winner of Nobel peace prize.
Proteins In favour of teens.
Pulse Grain.
Pus Small cat.
Red blood count Dracula.
Tablet Small table.
Ultrasound Radical noise.
Urine Opposite of you’re out.
Varicose Very close.
Barium What you do when CPR fails
Cesarean Section A district in Rome
Colic A sheep dog
Congenital Friendly
Dilate To live long
GI Series Baseball games between teams of soldiers
Hangnail A coat hook
Medical Staff A doctor’s cane
Minor Operation Coal digging
Morbid A higher offer
Nitrate Lower than the day rate
Node Was aware of
Organic Church musician
Outpatient A person who has fainted
Protein In favor of young people
Secretion Hiding anything
Tumor An extra pair
Varicose Veins Veins which are very close together

Aarogya Humor
Humor Humor

One of our aarogyan was recently down with FLU. Since we are dealing with a health portal the aarogyan decided to use his health knowledge to cure himself. So he went to the Drugstore and bought himself Fludac as a medication for FLU.

Drugs Drugs
You must be thinking what’s funny in the whole issue?
Actually Fludac is an Antidepressant which is used for Depression not a medication for FLU as our dear aarogyan thought it to be…


Doctor Jargon
What He Says! What He Means!
This should be taken care of right away. “I’d planned a trip to Hawii next month but this is so easy and profitable that I want to fix it before the trip itself”.
Welllllll, what have we here… Since he hasn’t the foggiest notion of what it is, the Doctor is hoping you will give him a clue.
“We’ll see” “First I have to check my malpractice insurance”.
“Let me check your medical history”. “I want to see if you have paid your last bill before spending any more time with you”.
“Why don’t we make another appointment later in the week”. “I’m playing golf this afternoon” or “I need the money, so I’m charging you for another office visit”.
“We have some good news and some bad news”. The good news is he’s going to buy that new BMW, and the bad news is you’re going to pay for it
“I’d like to prescribe a new drug”. “I’m writing a paper and would like to use you for a guinea”.
“If it doesn’t clear up in a week, give me a call”. “I don’t know what the hell it is. May be it will go away by itself”.
“That’s quite a nasty looking wound”. “I think I’m going to throw up”.
“This should fix you up”. “The drug salesman guaranteed that it kills all symptoms”
“There is a lot of that going around”. “My God, that’s the third one this week. I’d better learn something about this”.